Sysadmin Christmas Carol

This is a sysadmin-themed version of a well-known Christmas carol that I posted in the old VyOS development blog for the 2014 holidays season.

On the first day of Christmas my users reported to me
a dead link in a spanning tree.

On the second day of Christmas my users reported to me
two unreachable hosts
and a dead link in a spanning tree.

On the third day of Chrismas my users reported to me
three percent packet loss,
two unreachable hosts,
and a dead link in a spanning tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas my users reported to me
four expired domains,
three percent packet loss,
two unreachable hosts,
and a dead link in a spanning tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas my users reported to me
five broken cables,
four expired domains,
three percent packet loss,
two unreachable hosts,
and a dead link in a spanning tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas my users reported to me
six clocks-a-drifting,
five broken cables,
four expired domains,
three percent packet loss,
two unreachable hosts,
and a dead link in a spanning tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas my users reported to me
seven drives-a-failing,
six clocks-a-drifting,
five broken cables,
four expired domains,
three percent packet loss,
two unreachable hosts,
and a dead link in a spanning tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas my users reported to me
eight links-a-flapping,
seven drives-a-failing,
six clocks-a-drifting,
five broken cables,
four expired domains,
three percent packet loss,
two unreachable hosts,
and a dead link in a spanning tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas my users reported to me
nine routes-a-leaking,
eight links-a-flapping,
seven drives-a-failing,
six clocks-a-drifting,
five broken cables,
four expired domains,
three percent packet loss,
two unreachable hosts,
and a dead link in a spanning tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas my users reported to me
ten daemons crashing,
nine routes-a-leaking,
eight links-a-flapping,
seven drives-a-failing,
six clocks-a-drifting,
five broken cables,
four expired domains,
three percent packet loss,
two unreachable hosts,
and a dead link in a spanning tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my users reported to me
eleven PSUs-a-burning,
ten daemons crashing,
nine routes-a-leaking,
eight links-a-flapping,
seven drives-a-failing,
six clocks-a-drifting,
five broken cables,
four expired domains,
three percent packet loss,
two unreachable hosts,
and a dead link in a spanning tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my users reported to me
twelve attackers DDoSing,
eleven PSUs-a-burning,
ten daemons crashing,
nine routes-a-leaking,
eight links-a-flapping,
seven drives-a-failing,
six clocks-a-drifting,
five broken cables,
four expired domains,
three percent packet loss,
two unreachable hosts,
and a dead link in a spanning tree.